He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
