handjob tips. give me some.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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