If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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