If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
