i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
