You made me cry and you don't even care
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
