I'm jealous of your bromance
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
