I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
