Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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