I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
