I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
