Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize