I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
