Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
