two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
