I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
