she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
