he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
