I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
