I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
