So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
