nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
