Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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