Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
