I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
So apparently Iโm into choking now
Randomize