respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
