You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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