this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
