hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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