i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
