I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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