yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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