hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
farters have to be the big spoon...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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