yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
