my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
