that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
