I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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