rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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