Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
