Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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