Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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