what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
