i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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