I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
