RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
