they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
