Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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