Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
