exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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