i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's like iHOP with fire
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Randomize
