College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The adults are the big ones right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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