Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
