the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
