Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
