just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
