he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
